30

Well, today's the day: it is my 30th birthday.

30 years ago today, I became somewhat of an anomaly. My parents always preferred the term "miracle baby", but I've always joked that "freak child" seems more appropos. My mom was 46 when I was born-- my father, 55. They had been married for 21 years when the news of my impending birth was announced. I often wonder how everyone else around them initially reacted to the news. I'd guess that people were pretty supportive and excited, but I'd also imagine that there would be many naysayers whispering about them when my parents left the room.

To this day, when I walk around my hometown and see people who remember my birth, they always tell me about how they remembered it. I come from a collection of small towns and villages, and it's a bit surreal to me how many people remember my birth. In all honesty, a month hasn't gone by in my life where someone (stranger or otherwise) hasn't come up to tell me about the event-- how they remembered it, how proud my dad was, how happy my mom was, etc...

My parents had the option of temporarily delaying my birth until midnight so that I could be the New Year's baby if they wanted, but obviously they didn't. I'm quite thankful that they made the choice they did. Think about all the changes that would have happened had they waited a few short hours-- I'd be behind a year in school which would have drastically affected the rest of my life. This would have changed the year I graduated high school, which would have changed my university experience, and in turn my post-grad schooling and finally, the job I now have. My friends would be completely different, as would my colleagues and mentors. It's a bit overwhelming to think about, actually... very "Run Lola, Run", if you will.

Their decision, however, did result in a couple of interesting factoids which I do think about quite often. Firstly, I am one of the last products of the seventies. Granted, I was only in the decade for a few short hours, but from what I've heard and read, it was a pretty important decade and as one of the last children from it, I feel I need to "represent". Secondly, I'm also one of the youngest members of Generation X (I'm a huge Coupland fan. Huge). Let me acknowledge that this is obviously up for debate-- I know that people vary their idea of when GX ends and starts. When I first heard about GX though, I was told it included people born in 1979... which ends with me... and I've hung on to that fact ever since.

So those two pieces of information have, implicitly, put a little bit of pressure on me. I believe most people feel that they need to do "something" with their lives... and for me, the fact that I'm the last product of the 70s and the last Gen-Xer (or at least one of them) has added a little bit more emphasis to that goal.

So let's take stock of how things have gone. I think that overall I've had a great life. Indeed, some less than stellar things have happened in my 30 years, but seriously, who hasn't had that? I've moved on, gotten through, and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

I think previous to 30, the biggest birthday for me was 18. Not much changed on the actual date mind you (does it ever really from birthday to birthday?), but it seemed like a big year. I was finishing high school that year and moving on to university, which was probably the biggest change of my life.

If I look back on that 18 year old kid in 1997 (briefly-- a few hours in '97 really) and 1998 and compare him to who I am today, I see so many differences. Most of these changes have been for the better and are true for everyone as we "grow up" and mature. I'm able to support myself now. I'm more educated. I have a career which has been very good to me (and I think, most days, I've been good for it). I have experienced so much more and seen things around the world that I will always value. I'm shockingly healthier-- this isn't hyperbole-- it's actually bewildering when I reflect. My hair, although thinning slightly, is more appropriate for my face. I think I dress better than I did. I don't wear the mid-90s glasses anymore-- you know the ones-- they were so giant and oval that your eyes looked super tiny. Yeah, many good changes occurred.

Of course, when one reflects, some changes may have happened that aren't as positive. I don't believe people when they say "No regrets." Of course you have regrets. Everyone does. Even if it's not something major, we all wish we hadn't said something one time (or maybe not said something) or done something else. "No regrets" is just a clever defense mechanism most likely created by an advertising company to justify mistakes. Sure, they are all learning experiences... but we regret them.

So when I look back on that 18 year old kid and compare him to the man I am today, the biggest change I see is how hardened that 30 year old is. At 18 I wasn't "carefree" as it were-- I had major responsibilities which I took very seriously. I was, however, much more jovial continuously. Somehow, in the last twelve years, I've become pretty crusty-- crustier than I'd like to be anyway. I've gone from "The glass is deliciously half full" to "There's delicious liquid in the glass" to "Oh no-- only a couple delicious gulps left." I'm so cognizant of the fact that I've become frequently pessimistic, and I can't stand it anymore.

When I've thought about writing about this over the past few weeks, I've considered discussing my level of "happiness" but I think that would have been a poor choice in diction. I have people in my life who have dealt with and continue to battle with depression and other personality disorders, and I know what that's all about. I won't trivialize their conditions by even remotely comparing what they go through to my occasional crankiness. I do, however, know that I want to change this about myself.

I'm on the direct route to becoming a full-blown curmudgeon, and at 30, it stops today.

So, I've set myself a goal. Over the next 365 days, I intend to write about 365 things that I'm grateful for, that make me smile, that I enjoy-- reasons why life is so amazing. I might write about people, things, media, products... who knows what will happen? I just hope that by focussing on all the good, I can de-crust and be a better person to be around.

I've established some basic policies and procedures for myself:

1. I don't have to write something every single day-- I know I won't have access every day to a computer, so as long as I have 365 things by December 31, 2010, all will be good.

2. I'm going to do my best to be as anonymous as is possible. Although I'm publishing this online, at the moment, I don't want my friends or family to know I'm doing this. If I'm the only person that ever reads it, that's fine. Hopefully if I'm writing about someone, I'll be brave enough to tell them to their face why they're important to me.

3. I'm trying to do this and not be gushy, pansy, or overly sentimental. This is important to me. I know I will break this rule on many occasions, but I want to try and prove to myself that I can write this blog and still not violate any major rules of "The Bro Code."

When I was in grade 10, one of the students waiting for the bus was asked by his friend, "How are you today?" His response, without missing a beat, was "I'm adequate," and this got huge laughs from everyone. I loved this line-- I love cynical humour. It makes me laugh so much. I immediately adopted this line into my repertoire. It became my trademark joke. I still use it all the time. I said it not so long ago to one of the people I work with-- she's probably the person who does our job the best in my building and she's someone I respect tremendously and get along with so very well-- said, laughingly, "I can't wait until one day you are better than adequate!" I know she didn't intend for that comment to be thought provoking-- she was just looking for something to fill that space after we laughed-- but it was.

So here we go.

Project: Better than Adequate 2010 starts tomorrow

nye1979

Watch this space

December 31, 2009